Had a fascinating conversation with my friend Tony Selimi recently, where we were discussing what really mattered.

What matters most is how you see yourself
It was an interesting conversation, because I’d never really considered the implications of some of my deep rooted beliefs, or perspectives on the matter.

It also started to distinguish for me those things that are really important for me, as an individual, and what may or may not be important for others, as well as a realisation that many of my deep seated beliefs, and perspectives on life really do shape me, at such a fundamental level.


As some context, I take the position, that fundamentally, nothing REALLY matters.

When we die, we don’t take any of what we have in this world with us, and so whilst it’s certainly more ‘pleasant’ to have the finer things in life, to live a richer experience with wealth, money and abundance, for me, none of those things are of any real consequence, in the ‘long’ term.. When I’m talking about long term, I refer to the life after death, and the subsequent result of what happens when we die, and take that into consideration when forming my perspective on the matter.


Holosoma (the Consciousnesses Vehicles of Manifestation)

As a person who believes that we are not our bodies, that we are not just physical selves, but that we are a non-physical spirit, living a human experience, I believe that when our physical bodies die, that ‘essence’ that is ‘us’ lives on, and continues to exist. I’m happy to discuss, and describe in detail my beliefs around reality, life after death etc, at length, and will do in a different article, but for now, let’s just accept the premise that when our bodies cease to function, we go on to another place.


In my world view, and belief system, that ‘other place’ has a set of ‘brownie’ points, if you will, or a score keeping system, that measures the evolution, or progress of a given soul. Some call it Karma, others refer to it as the ‘day of judgement’ when all your deeds are weighed one against the other. In principle, I believe that a balance does exist, of some sort, and that fundamentally the purpose of our ‘lives’ is to stack the balance in our favour. That innate sense of helping others, of doing good for others, of doing something that helps someone else, all of those things stem, in my opinion, from an ‘inner knowing’ or guidance, that we exist for the purpose of something greater than ourselves.


If the objective of this or any given lifetime (presuming you subscribe to the belief of multiple lives), is to stack up all the good deeds in your favour, or to leave the world a little better than you found it, then for me the only thing that really ever matters is how you behave with others, and your environment. Perhaps I’m taking the Buddhist concept of detachment to an extreme, but genuinely, for me, I believe that the only thing that we have any control over, is how we behave, and how we think and how we act. Which means that making anything matter, that is outside of our control or influence is futile. Of course, we all desire to have fast cars, live in big homes, and have passionate partners, and loving children. (substitute those typical things that are normal to you and your peers to aspire towards).

But fundamentally, if we put our attention to something that we have no control over, and that we can’t actually influence in any direct manner, then we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

The only thing that you can control, or influence, is your thoughts and beliefs. If things happen, that aren’t ideal (accidents, deaths, murders, robberies, etc.) then you have a choice. You can choose to believe that the event served a purpose, had meaning, and presented you with an opportunity to learn and grow, or you can choose to feel as if you are a victim of circumstance.

I am 100% responsibleBeing a victim of circumstance, leaves you powerless, and completely at the mercy of the elements. I personally like to take the stance that I’m the recipient of everything that comes my way, and that each thing, good or bad, is just a learning opportunity. When I look at life, through the lens of learning, and growth, each experience presents the chance to grow, to demonstrate my growth, or to learn where my current limitations might exist.

In all those possibilities, the actual experience doesn’t in and of itself matter at all.  As fundamentally, in my world view, the belief I choose to hold, is that all experiences are an opportunity to learn, and grow.

If I become attached to wealth, then I could become greedy, and negligent of the people around me. If I become dismissive of wealth, and cling to poverty then I could become attached to neediness, and a sense of low self worth, and low self esteem.


I believe, it’s entirely possible to live a rich, and fulfilling life without the attachments to things, people, places, or any particular outcome.. But in order to be detached as fully as possible, we need to make sure that what matters to us, is not what happens to us, or what we accomplish, but rather how we act, behave, and think in any given circumstance.


Of course, my family matter, my friends matter, and even the strangers I pass on the street matter. But regardless of who they are, I should be as loving, caring, kind and unconditional in my regard, in my behaviour, and in my respect for them.

I’m only acting from a place of deep respect, and gratitude towards the example of the other, because I know that they merely reflect a dimension of me. Something within me, that has been externalised.

My ideal perspective is one where I have absolutely no attachment to anything external to me, for then it means that I have no attachments internally either. That state of ‘complete’ detachment, for me, is akin to nirvana, boddhisatva, bliss, at one with reality, haquiqat, absolute truth, absolute unity. In that place, that I strive towards, everything I see, is a reflection of my inner being, and so to say that any one part of my inner being matters more than another, is to deny the complete integration of the entire of reality, with the essence of my being. But I shall share my perspective on the divine, and the essence of reality in another post.

For now, I want to end by saying that absolutely nothing matters, 
and in the same moment, absolutely everything matters. 
For I am everything, and nothing in the same instant.

Since everything is one

I’d be interested to hear, what matters to you in life? and why?

Tags: ,

2 Comments to “What really matters?”

  1. Sam says:

    Good. In short, you’ve well summed up the way life and it’s tribulations, are all, but a mere test for the Hereafter.

    May the Almighty guide you through the Straight Path.

    • Thanks Sam 😉
      I hadn’t thought of it in those terms. For me, even in the Hearafter, I still am drawn to ‘being of service’ or helping others, if there is any way in which I might be able to, once I’m no longer physical. Indeed, I pray that we all are guided on the right path that each of us needs to walk, for us to navigate life by those things that we inherently value, or find of importance 😉 Thanks for your comment! Really appreciate you sharing your perspective, and reflection of my words 😉

Leave a Reply

You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>